clisnerry chi-snoodle-bloozy mcNabberry shlabnabble.

Look here so/so barmaid. Bring me another beer. I swear by the very stool I sit on that I will love you until the end of time if you will bring me a beverage laced with alcoholic properties. I will pull a small bag of cocaine out of my pocket and toss it on the counter. You can do with it as you please. I will spit on the graves of your enemies and set fire to the bad places in your life. I will drive your car, I will be your butler. I will steal scratch off lottery tickets from my job at the gas station and I will scratch them with pennies until I find you a winner, then I will give you the ticket so that you may have many dollars and all I ask in return is that you order me a pizza and for CHRIST'S SAKE. bring me a SAKE. And/or a beer.
And then a blow job.

People of the world, or anyone who is reading my blog, so... Nobody...
Check out this shit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qd64zf6N9QI

This makes me poop excellence. Do you understand what I say to you now?
I am scotch tape holding some twilly twerp's nose in pug position. I smack the grilled cheese dotted 3rd grade art smock. It was my old man's tattered work shirt.
I am the cheap metal that holds the eraser onto a penceil scraping against the paper and tearing holes in it because the eraser has been worn away with use.
I am worm shit, that is dirt. I am all this and more.
It's all so clear to me now...
WE're not hitch-hiking, We're fuckin' RIDING the sun around the goddamn universe MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

WTF

What the fuck?!

This one time, when I was in the joint at old Belmont C.I., I done seen this dumbass kid get the shit knocked out of him. What a fool. The kid was a bunk restriction with the green jumpsuit on first street with all the other moron bunkies. Well, they talked him into stealing this one dude's CD player and he did. He got caught and there were 15 black dudes just beating this dude senseless. Big fat white kid on the ground with 15 homies kicking him, slapping him, spitting on him, beating the stupid right outta his fuckin head. Eventually, I guess they must've got tired of wailing on the fat fuck and they stopped. The fucker stood up, actually stood up, a little shakily, with a stream of blood trailing out of his ear and just kind of wandered about until the C.O.s took him to I.H.S. He was taken off the compound to the hospital.
That should have been a lesson to thieves in there, but of course, it all depends on who you are, how big you are and what color your skin is regarding the consequences of stealing from somebody, and just who that somebody is.
Prison is a crazy place. It's like the basest of base of our society, and the way it is really is no different than it is at the top of the cultural food chain. It's just more obvious and blatant. It's not disguised as politics in the big capitol...

ol' Snorky...

I met this crazy old boy named Snorky McSnifapoo. He was a total weirdo and he was always slapping corns together. What I mean is, he always had 2 pieces of indian corn and was always slapping them together, trying to make the individual kernels fly off. He was convinced that the corn could feel pain and that when a kernel popped off and flew through the air, it would scream. He said it pained him to do this, that he loved the corn but that he HAD to do it, and it killed a little piece of his heart every time. He said he was a sado-masochist. He had a tattoo on his arm that said "CORNEYE".
I tell no lie peoples, the dude was on some old shit, crazy style. Crazier than fut. Perhaps at another time, I will relate a bit more about old Snorky McSnifapoo.

Whooped that ASS!

Check it out once: I seen this dude walkin down the way and I was like, "Hey dude, I know you from somewheres. C'mere. Comover here dude. Lemme gitta lookit that face dog..." So then I seen it was this fuckin dude I didnt like. It was this fuckin cocksucker who talked some old shit one time up at Wally G's, so I's like, "Checkit man, you remember me? Huh? You remember me punk! Naw, that memory kinda hazy now aint it. Now I'm standin up in your shit and your fuckin dudes aint here. Yeah, now me and you alone and yo motherfuckin punk ass friends aint here and now you dont remember talkin all that GOOD ASS SHIT, BITCH!" Man, this ho-ass motherfucker was scared TA DEATH man! He was all lik, "Naw, man. You got the wrong guy dog. I aint said no type a no shit like that man. I aint never talked no shit to you dog. Naw, man, I aint on no bullshit man, you got me fucked up man... I aint on it man, I aint tryin' ta git in no shit man, I'm chillin man, tryin to git to my bitch man, she down the way, she expectin me man, I gots to roll mun.." I sayed, "HELL NAW man! HAIL motherfuckin NAW PUNK! Hell no, if yer gonna talk that old shit man, you best be prepared to back that shit up whether yo fuckin punk ass friends is there or NOT, motherfucker! Now c'mon man, say that shit again like you said before man! Talk that good shit now man! Talk that shit one time now bitch ass ho-ass motherfucker!" Man, this sorry ass ho got all quiet and shit. Shouda seen this punk, man. Aint had SHIT to say now. I's all jacked up now thogh man, I had to kick that ass now man. I said, "Fuckit man, Finna whoop that ass anyway man..." Man, I beat that dude STUPID upside the motherfuckin head and every other typa way. That muthafucka was FUCKED UP when I was done beatin that ass! I said, "Man, look. You gonna think twice before you talk some shit now, aint you? Yeah, punk. Remember that shit man. You don't talk no typa no shit about me jack, you hear me man, I aint aint no bitch, man, I aint ON it, punk!" Shit man, I seen that dumb ass motherfucker walk away man, and I yelled out to him, "Yeah, you git down to your bitches house now! You let the ho see how I beat yo ass. Tell I'm right here if she wanna fuck with a REAL man!" Hell yeah man. Beat that ass.

I had a dream last night that we were flat broke and homeless and Lo and I were carting the babies and Riv around in a gian stroller. She went off somewhere to look for a doctor and I was trying to keep my eye on the kids and looking for food at the same time. I kept glancing back to the stroller and people were gathering around it and looking at my kids and some guy was saying how cute Vi was and it was creepy. I remember feeling doom and hopelessness. It was not a good dream. It was a bad dream.

I don't get why every one of my posts says it is 3 hours earlier than what it really is. I live in Ohio. That's EST. When I filled out my profile, I distinctly recall saying so. What the shit man!?

today is st. patrick's day and I don't give a shit. St. Patrick is gay and irish people suck. go fuck yourself.

none

Stereotypes are all alike.

I am walking down the sidewalk wondering why there are some sad blades of grass trying to grow up through the cracks. They are lonely, all alone, singular beings taking a shot at survival in a world of hurt and concrete. They have been forsaken by thier creator. They have been fated to a life of desperation and longing. Longing for thier kin, thier friends, thier own kind, not so far off in that thick, green lawn just on the other side of the walk. So close, so close, and so far away. It's only right there, a couple of feet away, but alas! It may as well be a million miles away. If they were to be uprooted and placed within the loving reach of thier green spiky bretheren, it would be a quick and bittersweet homecoming, as they would surely die without root.
It is a sad and twisted world of irony.
Also, as I walked, I thought about PacMan. Man, did I love that game! Ms. PacMan was even better, I think.

Here is my biggest problem with fundamentalist Christianity:
I will endure the same fate as a child-raping, grandmother-murdering, burglarizing, wife-beating, child-abusing, gang-banging, bank-robbing, invasive, piece of shit thug.
As far as a Christian is concerned, upon death, a person of this caliber and me are no different.
Even worse than that, if this pice of shit decides to "repent" by using a specific combination of words, all will be forgiven, and whereas I will burn in hell for all eternity, he will recieve eternal life in the kingdom of heaven.
Bullshit.
God knows your heart. God knows truth.
I don't care what your religion is, what you believe, what you think. In the end, if you are not true, you can't fool anyone after you're dead. You can't bring anything from this world with you but what you have in your heart. If it's lies, if it's evil, if it's hate, if it's wrong... That's what will follow you into the unknown.
So, self-righteous, ultra-religious pedestal-standing hypocrites: Fuck you.

There are people in the world, they are snobbish. I know people like that. They are fakers. There are pretenses. There is condescension. There are ugly vibes radiating from thier persons. I am not friends with these people, but I have had to acquaint with them for one reason or another. I do not like them. It is a shame that there are people like this in the world. It is a shame that there are many different kinds of bad people in the world.

The saying goes "Idle hands are the Devil's workshop". I think that's how it goes. True. True.

9:22am

At 8:22 am today, I was racing my kid to school. An hour later I am at work. In between those two moments in time I filled my gas tank, bought cigarettes and chewed some gum, which I am still chewing. It is Stride "Forever Fruit" to be exact. More on that later.
I am overwhelmed with excitement.