Look here so/so barmaid. Bring me another beer. I swear by the very stool I sit on that I will love you until the end of time if you will bring me a beverage laced with alcoholic properties. I will pull a small bag of cocaine out of my pocket and toss it on the counter. You can do with it as you please. I will spit on the graves of your enemies and set fire to the bad places in your life. I will drive your car, I will be your butler. I will steal scratch off lottery tickets from my job at the gas station and I will scratch them with pennies until I find you a winner, then I will give you the ticket so that you may have many dollars and all I ask in return is that you order me a pizza and for CHRIST'S SAKE. bring me a SAKE. And/or a beer.
And then a blow job.